A Letter to my Children

Having children is definitely my greatest achievement in life. These amazing people have brought more joy to my life than I could ever imagine possible. The innocence they posses so admirable. I wish I could bottle it and preserve it until the end of time. Yet I am quite aware that I can't do a thing to prevent them from growing up. Though with all my heart I wish I could forbid it. Seems rather unfair. Or I am simply selfish...

I have decided to type this letter, In case I am no longer around when they need me. Hopefully this gives them some kind of heads up.

1. Put God first, the rest will follow. Faith is vital in our lives, by no means do I expect you to be religious. Just believe and trust.
2. Don't forget the importance of family. They were there since the beginning, and throughout the bad. They will come to your rescue no matter the situation. Make time for your loved ones. 
3. Don't take your loved ones for granted. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
4.  Always be curious. Life would be boring without curiosity. You might be surprised the things you could learn from simply being curious. You might find yourself in a deep hole, as long as you have good friends and family you can survive anything.
5. Love yourself. That's the one person who will NEVER leave you. So enjoy your own company.
6. Work. Don't take a job to be employed, find something you love. Life is meant to be lived. 
7. Dance and sing, it doesn't matter whether you're good or bad. Both is about letting go and having fun. An excellent source of self expression.
8. Don't bring others into arguments, family or otherwise. Resolve your issues and move on.
9. Laugh at yourself. Be silly. Life is too short to be grumpy and morbid. You have a beautiful smile and laughter is contagious. So why not spread joy by simply being joyful?
10. When choosing a partner to spend your life with, choose someone who makes you feel like you can take the world on. Not completely crush your own world. Be in a relationship where both partners feel worthy, loved and respected. Not a relationship that will break your will to live. 
11. Don't lose yourself in the person you enter a relationship with. Make sure that yourself and your needs are met. Hold on to all that is you. 
12. Your opinions are yours to have just don't try to force them onto other people. Nothing wrong disagreeing with with others, respect them. You might learn from someone else's point of view.
13. Yes life will get crazy, be sure to find a way to make time for yourself.
14. Love bites are rather unattractive, and they are a sign of insecurity.
15. Stand up for what is right. Don't stand by and watch innocent people being hurt. Remember you can easily find yourself in a similar situation. 
16. We need people (good people) in our lives. To keep us grounded.
17. Don't kiss and tell. It is degrading. You can't expect people to respect you, if you don't respect yourself or others. Keep it clean. 
18. Good manners are of the utmost importance. "Please" and "Thank You" go a long way. 
19. Always remember you have people you can confide in. I am aware that speaking to parents might seem uncool. I will do my best to advise you. Keeping things in is not healthy. I will not judge you. I love you and always will.
20. Look people straight in the eye when in conversation. Looking around makes you look dodgy. You have no reason to feel shame or less than anyone. Everyone is your equal.
21. Don't fear anyone, we are all flesh and blood. Equal in God's eyes. So what makes the next person better?
22. Respect authority figures, even if you disagree with them. 
23. Follow your instinct no matter what. You're the only one who knows what's best for you. 
24. Listen. To be genuine and pay attention when you're being spoken to. This is when people open up and choose to allow you in or not. Also it shows that you care about others. 
25. Be truthful. One lie can ruin all your truths. People will lose all trust they have in you. 
26. Don't have bad breath or body odor. 
27. Don't be jealous or possessive. That's a very unattractive quality to have. No relationship can survive on this kind of mindset.
28. Be yourself. Trying to impress others by pretending to be someone else is misleading. Allowing people to get to know you for who you are, Will show you who your true friends are.
29. Finish what you start in life. The only way you acquire new skills in life is once you've completed a task. 
30. Be a Leader. Make your own choices in life. It's all well and good asking for advice, but the final decision should ultimately be yours. Nothing wrong making mistakes. It's all part of life. 
31. Remember everything comes to light. So before doing anything, question if it's something you can live with forever.
32. Before you criticize others first praise them. It will make you, as well as them feel better. Beside none of us are without fault.
33. Let go of the past. It's meant to be left behind. If anyone dares to bring your past up, they don't belong in your present nor future. 
34. When it an argument, mind your words. It's easy to blurt out hurtful things, but impossible to take them back. Words hurt more and last longer than any physical pain.
35. Be courageous. Doesn't matter what the end result might be, at least you've tried.
36. Treat others how you want to be treated. 
37. Gratitude is highly important. Everything begins and end with it.
38. Take care of your body and mind, this can make huge difference later in life. As you mature and your body changes. Exercise and learn new skills often.
39. Feel what you feel. No need to ever be ashamed of your emotions.
40. Before making a purchase, shop around. Look at all your options. 
41. Forgive and let go. This is something you need to do, not for others, but in order to set yourself free.
42. Take criticism gracefully. It teaches us humility and how to improve on the task at hand. 
43. Be loyal. This will take you far in life, and ensure that no matter where you may be or whatever you face, you will have people looking out for you.
44. Read often. It introduces you to many new and wonderful experiences without leaving the house.
45. Work wisely with your money. Invest and save.
46. Everything in moderation. Drinking, friends, games, television, internet, sweets, etc.
47. You can be mad and love someone at the same time. That's the beauty of love.
48. Don't complain, it only makes you sound whiny. No one wants to be around such people.
49. Boundaries are quite important, provides everyone with a place in your life and a line not to cross.  
50. Your happiness is your own responsibility. You're also not responsible for other peoples happiness.
51. Either get married or stay single, not both at the same time. Don't cheat. If you're unhappy walk away. Cheating causes unnecessary pain and makes you look like a heartless coward. 
52. Equality in a relationship is not about money or power. It's about mutual respect. 
53. Every time you pose for photos, remember they could backfire. so if it's something you wouldn't want an elder or anyone you respect (parent, boss, etc) to see it, don't take it.
54. When choosing friends, the popular kids might not be the best idea. Choose those that make you laugh, are fun and interesting. 
55. When doing things for others. Don't advertise what you do, be humble and let it go. It's no ones business. 
56. Grab every opportunity you get in life. Living in this day and age means you can achieve all your dreams.
57. There is always someone that has it worse. You will always have something to be grateful for.
58.  You're stronger than you think. You can and will survive anything life throws at you.

Finally I just want to thank you for the light and laughs you have brought to my life. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. You might be surprised to find out that you have carried me through some dark days. 

I Love You Always and Forever.

Love Mommy.

Having a child with ADHD

This is something myself and many other families are new to. I couldn't understand why the teachers were so lazy and uninterested in educating my child. They constantly complained and offered no solution. He never complained about anything. So that possibly added to my confusion. Eventually one teacher spoke to me about the possibility that he might need medication. Which I of course, rejected. How dare she suggest I go and drug my child up. Eventually after much discussions with my partner we took him for a diagnoses. Which was absolutely horrible, as the doctor who diagnosed him, implied that I was responsible for his learning difficulties. As I didn't take care of myself properly during pregnancy. Not exactly the ideal news any parent would be happy to receive.  My son was diagnosed at the age of eight. As much as I wasn't a fan of the medication, I did the necessary research and figured I should at least give it a try. I must admit that it did work.

 The journey begun.

After all trying is better than not doing anything. We had him on the medication for two years, then we had to relocate to Kuruman. In Kuruman, I tried many natural options which definitely provided positive results.
After more or less a year we returned to Johannesburg and resumed with the medication for another two years. Due to lack of finances that seemed like the best option. I fully intend on going to back to natural options as soon as my ship comes in. Definitely prefer natural, esp as far as my children are concerned.

He is a absolutely amazing young man, who I am proud to call my son. I would love to provide him with every possible opportunity to be the best version of himself. He has amazing personality traits that I truly admire.

It surely does get to us most of the time. The lack of attention. Often this leads to him finding himself in dangerous situations. I have previously struggled to understand under why he leaves most tasks incomplete. I pretty much try to stay on him 24/7  as I feel he needs it more than his little sister (who is a handful in her own special way).I find myself being rather agitated and aggravated when I need to repeat myself and check on him to make sure he does as I ask. I do lose my temper. I am working on that daily. It's rather difficult as I am aware that being a preteen he is at the age that will try me. It's not easy to figure out which is which, ADHD or naughtiness. Hopefully one day I will figure it out. This all amplifies the whole parenting situation.

I constant need to remind myself that it isn't his fault. As I am not the most patient person. Sometimes my expectations of him are unrealistic, as all children differ. So it is best to ignore how other parent compare their children to mine. That's not my business.

Don't give up or lose faith.

ADHD can't be easy for those suffering from it. It certainly isn't easy for the family members of those individuals. The earlier you recognize the symptoms, the better you will be equipped to work through it as a family. In these instances the best we can do for them is provide a loving, calm and supportive environment. As the parent it is also important to have support from you're immediate family in times of great difficulty. As you tend to find yourself tested on a regular basis. This will allow the family to grow together as a unit.


Below is a site that provides assistance and advice
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-parenting-tips.htm

No matter what you find yourself facing, don't forget you're an amazing mommy and daddy!